The Deeper Well

The following insight is from my Dad's journal. He wrote it in the midst of a deep, 18 month depression. Though I am committed to posting my own thoughts on "the Broken Place," I thought this fit so well that I couldn't pass it up. All praise be to our Abba, the digger of deeper wells! -Joe

When God wants to dig a well deeper in a man’s soul, when he digs the existing shaft to make it go deeper and to enlarge it’s capacity to produce more, it requires digging in dirt and mud. During the time the shaft is being dug deeper, the springs are muddied; the water is no longer clear and fresh. The refreshment and enjoyment of the water is delayed. Thirst increases.

Sediment, stirred by the process, makes the water murky, torpid. Digging goes through layers— soft silt, sticky clay, hard rock. Some materials are easily removed, others require drills and dynamite. The deepening process is messy, arduous. In time it is completed. The waters settle, gradually clear, and at last become available to quench thirsts. The mess of digging is quickly forgotten in the freshness of the powerful new flow! What never could have been provided from the shallow well now pours forth generously from the deeper one.

Until that day comes in my life, dig on Lord!

The Beautiful Mystery

There was a time in my life when my two favorite colors were black and white. Some of you may remember me in those days. It was a happy time for me; I was respected in church, I had authority among my peers, I was seen as a leader and a responsible young man. More than that, I had what many would call a strong ministry, especially for a high school student. Friends would come to me for advice, and underclassmen looked up to me. And all this (most of it, at least), is because I was a good Christian with the right answers.

You know what the right answers are, right?
"Just trust God, He'll get you through this."
"Love is a choice, just choose to love God."
"Try praying and reading your Bible; that always works for me."

Then I went to college.

The interesting thing about Bible college is not how much you learn about the God, but how much you learn you were wrong about God. Over the course of four years, most of my right answers were reduced to rubble by the constant crushing blows of the wrecking ball called "the Word of God." God ceased being my crutch and became my injury. He ceased being my sense-maker and became my greatest confusion. He broke out of the boxes into which I'd crammed Him and disolved every conception I had. In short, He became the Mystery.

and what a beautiful Mystery He is.

A core truth about worship that I've learned is that the how is not nearly as important as the who. We are all really good worshipers; 24 hours a day our time, money and attention are devoted to different pursuits, and at the end of those pursuits is the thing we worship. I long to get to the end of a day and find that finally, the one on the throne in my life is my Lord Jesus Christ. I'll let you know when I get there.

In Protestant Evangelical circles, we have often emphasized the systematizing of theology. Our modern predecessors sought to love God by understanding Him, and often they made great contributions to the church and our concept of God. We owe great debts to men like A.W Tozer ("Knowledge of the Holy"), Millard Erickson ("Christian Theology"), and C.S. Lewis (what didn't he write?). However, in the process, our churches at times forgot the mystery of God and in forgetting, lost a key piece of the worship of Him. We began to worship a God we understood, and a God we understand is not the God of scripture.

How can we understand a God who is logically impossible? He is three, and at the same time He is One. How can we understand a God who is gracious and just? He forgives even the worst of sinners, yet makes sure that justice is done. How can we understand a God who uses the weak to lead the strong? He uses worship leaders who are so full of questions and doubts that they can barely sing the songs they're leading. Trust me, I know this.

Ahhh, but this crazy God who is high and lofty, yet so near; He is the beautiful mystery we worship. Let us never forget the God who is the ocean compared to the spoon of our minds. And let us love Him. If we could understand Him, He would be too small.

"Sum of all perfection:
oblivion of the world
remembrance of the Maker
Look to your inner life
ever loving the Beloved."
-St. John of the Cross